is this what life is for me now?

So it has been a while since I posted anything on here so bear with me. The toughest part is where to start. It had been a really rough and rock few years for me and my family. Starting with me deciding to go back to school a few years ago. When I started at Regency I loved it, I loved doing hair and loved being out of the house. But after a while I started to get bored and started not going to school every day like I should have. Well needless to say I finally dropped out and got very depressed. I felt like my life was hopeless. There were a few different reasons why I quit first being I felt like it was more of a chore to do hair than a passion. And second had to do with my oldest son Tyler (he is now 11). Last Feb. his father up and left him. And by this I mean he went on vacation to Colorado and the day that he was supposed to return he called my son and told him to have a nice life that he was never coming back. Well needless to say that broke Tyler's heart, he thought for the longest time that it was something that he did wrong to make his father leave him. He came to live with me and was so sad and angry all of the time for about 6 months. I tried to console him and tell him that he did nothing wrong and that I loved him enough for both of us. That seemed to work for a while and then one day he started to blame me for it which I knew that he would so I took it and it seemed to make him feel better to have someone to blame. Well in August of last summer his father returned after trying to kill himself and being hospitalized. When Tyler found out he was back in town he did not know what to think, He wondered why he did not come and see him right away and why it took 2 weeks and I did not know what to tell him. When he finally convinced me to let him go and see him for the weekend I was obviously hesitant I did not what him to be hurt again. But I did and he has been going over there ever since and he hates it. But because I am a good mother I think that it is important at this stage in his life that he has a relationship with his father. Well now the son of a bitch is making me pay him child support and Tyler is living with me. I filled out the papers and when he got served he came over and started yelling at met hat he would never allow me to take full custody of his son and that I am a piece of shit. I held my tounge and said nothing while he screamed and yelled at me calling me every name that you can think of. When he was finished I asked him what kind of parent abandons their child and then treats them like shit? He had nothing to say to that he turned around and waled away. So now I am working a full time job going to school and not able to make ends meet because of him and I got a letter in the mail the other day saying that they are going to take my license away because my hours got cut at work and I can't find another job anywhere. So not only am I going to become stranded and not be able to go anywhere but I can't pay my bills because I don't make enough money and I have to put school on hold. All because of my ex-husband that could care less about our son. I am so frustrated and don't know what to do that I am about to completely lose it. I don't even what to get up in the morning because I don't see the point and can't see it getting any better. I start fights with justin because im stressed and it's not fair to him. We fight all of the time and have almost called it quits a few times because of it (we have been together for 8 years) I love him but I don't know what to do at this point. I just want to get to a point where I wont have to struggle and my kids don't have to want for anything and I don't have to worry about how I am going to pay my bills and get from place to place. I see people around me that have such easy lives and wonder why can't that be me? Why do they have it so easy?

life in 2020

I think that with all of the new technology that we are coming out with every day things will be a lot different. For example the cars that we drive now will be replaced with more electronic devises. There for we will not have to drive only tell the vehicle where we want to go. And the computer that we use now will seem obsolete. They will be replaced with new and improved ones that are completely touch screen. We will not have to type what we want but just say it.

Heroes is a very popular show that airs in NBC, Monday nights. It consists of 2 main female characters, Claire and Tracy. It also consists of now 6 male characters, Nathan, Peter, Hiro, Ando, Matt, and Mohinder. Claire portrays a high school about 18. Tracy portrays a woman in her late twenties and very successful. Nathan Portrays a man in his thirties and also very successful. Peter plays a man in his late twenties. Hiro and Ando play men in there early thirties. Matt is play as a man is his thirties and used to be a cop. And Mohinder plays a man in his thirties and is a very successful scientist. Matt seems to be the only one on the show that appears to be a little overweight. The main character is actually two people, Claire and Peter. It tends to go back and forth, they are to two main focal points in the show. Both of the women characters are dressed differently. Claire goes between jeans and a t-shirt and her cheerleading outfit. And Tracy wears more business clothes. The women characters are mostly portrayed as strong and independent. Rarely are the portrayed as week. None of the women are minorities or homosexual in the show. The intended audience is people in their twenties to late thirties. Because everyone wants to feel like they are a superhero of some kind. I think that overall the show accurately portrays women. They don't show them doing anything that any normal woman can't.

downloading music

I guess it really doesn't affect my life at all. People are going t odo what they want to do. Who am I to tell them that they can't. If I were a big musician then I would probably be a little mad that people are not buying my CD's, and instead they are downloading them off of the internet. But I would be happy that they are listening to my music. The RIAA I think is making way to big a deal about all of this.

me and music

Back when I was growing up we had music like, poison, and offspring, and Metalica. My parents hated the music that my brother and I listened to. I think that part of the reason that we did was because they hated it. I used to listen to all kinds of music from country to rock and roll. I didn't really care as long as it was loud.

I think that most of the music that I listened to was pretty raunchy. It had a lot of swearing and they mostly talked about killing and stuff like that. Metalica is more heavy metal and it was loud. My mom would constantly be yelling at me to turn it down that it gave her a headache. Offspring was a little more mellow.

I really liked the music because it gave me a sense of freedom when I listened to it alone. Like nothing could touch me and I was invincible. Also it's what all of my friends were listening to at the time. I spent most of my time as a teenager listening to music and waiting for the next great band to come out. My friends and I would hang out listening to new music. None of the adults around us at the time couldn't understand why we listened to the music that we did, they thought that it was just a bunch of noise and it was no good.

When I was 16 almost 17 I remember going to a Garth Brooks concert with my boyfriend and I thought that it was great. I have also been to a Charlie Daniels band concert. I have heard so many different kinds of music in my life that now I will pretty much listen to anything that comes on the radio.

I still have cd's from when I was younger, and now that I am a mother and an adult myself I realize why my parents hated it so much. I listen to it now and even I think that it is to loud. Now when I am at home I listen to children's songs like Hannah Montana and The Naked Brothers Band.